What's your funny story/joke?

[Tom A. Saiyan]

Meron ba kayong kwentong nakakatawa? Yung mga nangyari sa inyo o kung hindi man sa mga kakilala ninyo... kahit kwentong barbero... mga joke na nakapagpatawa sa inyo... kahit corny... mga witty line or quote...

kahit green jokes

Post ninyo naman para mabasa...

Ako napanood ko ang skit ng Banana Split tungkol sa Valentine's... tinanong nung babae si John Pratts kung saan daw siya dadalhin ni John.... sabi ni John kung saan daw nagpupunta ang lovers kapag Valentine's... nagalit si babae dahil iniisip ng babae na sa motel sila pupunta... kesyo hindi raw siya ganoong babae... sabi ni John na sa sinehan daw sila pupunta... tapos sagot ng babae... "Pwede ba doon?" iniisip niya na sa sinehan sila mag-sesex...

;D

[Tom A. Saiyan]

Top 15 Reasons Why Pets Are Better Than Lovers

1. Ang hayop, pag nakuhaan ng video habang nagse-sex, pang Animal Planet – educational. Pag tao, scandal na kaagad.

2. M0nkeys will eat any kind of banana, kahit señorita pa yan. Eh ang babae? Siyempre dapat lakatan, basta yung malaki.

3. Buti pa ang aso kakahulan ka pag ayaw sa yo at lalabas pa ang pangil. Ang tao kahit ayaw sa yo, bumebeso pa rin. Plastik!

4. Pigeons, unlike some men and women, are better because they mate for life. Kakainggit di ba?

5. If you bring pets h0me, walang kasamang biyenan fr0m hell.

6. With dogs, it’s okay to sniff each other’s butts in public. Try nyong magjowa, ampangit di ba?

7. With pets, the worst social disease you’ll get is fleas.

8. If you pet someone else’s dog it’s no problem. Try that with someone else’s girlfriend.

9. With dogs, the size of the bone doesn’t matter.

10. Ang pet hindi lang sa simula loyal at sweet. Hindi tulad ng lalaki na parang may expiration date ang loyalty.

11. Pag iniwan ka ng aso mo, ang daling palitan. Punta ka lang sa pet shop and may kapalit agad.

12. Dogs don’t get upset if you accidentally call them by another name.

13. Pets can lick their own thingy, without any difficulty. Ikaw,abot mo ba?

14. Dog studs who are paid to do “it” are still respected. Tsaka when dogs play dead, it’s cute. When women play dead, especially in bed, it’s not.

15. Ang pets, kahit anong itapat mo sa bibig, isusubo. Ang babae, choosy.


'La computadora' o 'El computador'?

SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the
feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers
is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
possible later retrieval; and

4.. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be
Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.





The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Life could be so much better for many people, if they would just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones.
Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You’ll notice a huge difference in everything you do.

Let’s take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges — get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.



10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking


1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).

Problem: If you think you can’t be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you’ll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn’t have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.


2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).

Problem: We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.

Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.


3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.

Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful — in different ways.

Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn’t even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.


4. I am a miserable failure — I can’t seem to do anything right.

Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.

Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you’ve accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It’s an incredibly positive feeling.


5. I’m going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I’m better than him. And there’s no way I’ll help him succeed — he might beat me.

Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can’t also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.

Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.


6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?

Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.

Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back. Don’t dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.


7. You can’t do anything right! Why can’t you be like ____ ?

Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we’d be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.

Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.


8. Your work sucks. It’s super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.

Problem: I’ve actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let’s look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It’s also not a good way to make friends.

Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That’s a good thing.


9. Insulting People Back

Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.

Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don’t let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.



10. I don’t think I can do this — I don’t have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.

Problem: If you don’t think you can do something, you probably won’t. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you’ll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.

Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don’t need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.

[Tom A. Saiyan]

ERAP: LOI WHILE LABORING...

Erap phoned a doctor, asking for assistance.

Erap: Doc, what will I do? Loi is laboring and she’s in pain.

Doctor: Is this her first baby?

Erap: No, this is Erap.


ERAP: WHAT VITAMIN, A B OR C?

Erap went to a drug store to buy some vitamins...

Erap: I’d like some vitamins for my Grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Erap: It doesnt matter, cause he can’t read yet!!!


ERAP, PAKI - INGLES NGA ITO....

Isang araw, tinanong si erap ng mga estudyante...

Students: Ano po ang English ng nagpakamatay?

Erap: Suicide.

Students: Eh iyong namatay sa bahay?

Erap: Homicide.

Students: Eh iyon pong namatay dahil sa daga?

Erap: Pesticide.

Students: Eh iyong namatay na magkatabi?

Erap: Sidebyside.

Students: Eh iyong namatay habang nakikipagtalik, sir?

Erap: Insexticide.


USAPANG MAG - AMA...

Isang araw, nag - usap sina Erap at Jinggoy...

Erap: Ngayong tapos ka na ng high school, ano ang kukunin mo sa kolehiyo?

Jinggoy: Law po.

Erap: Ano? Tapos ka na ng HIGH, babalik ka pa sa LOW?!


HATI NG PALDA...

Isang gabi, nagbigay ng payo si Erap sa kanyang mga kumpare...

Kapag ang palda ng babae ay may hati sa likod, ang ibig niyang sabihin ay,

“Halika, sundan mo ako!”

Kapag ang hati ng palda ay nasa gilid,

“Halika, tabihan mo ako.”

Kapag ang hati ng palda ay nasa harap,

“Halika, pumasok ka!”


ARE YOU JOKING, ERAP?

Erap went to emergency room...

Erap: Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a bone

Doctor: Are you choking?

Erap: No, I’m serious!!!


ERAP AT THE OLYMPICS...

Sa olympics may bagong contest...

Ang mag-lalaban ay America, Japan, Russia, at si ERAP ng Philippines.

Ang contest ay kung sino ang maka-kaka-pag-iyak sa elepante.

Na-una ang Amerikano, tinad-yakan ang elepante pero, hinde ito umiyak.

Sumunod ang Hapon, kinarate chop nya pero walang iyak, pa rin!!...

Next na ang Russian, sinakal nya pero walang palag at di umiyak...

Talagang matigas ang Elepanteng ito!!!

Pinag-tatawanan ni ERAP ang kayang mga kalaban....heeheeheee!!!

Lumakad si ERAP at pumunta siya sa likod nang elepante at pinitek niya ang bayag nang elepante at napa-iyak sa sakit ang elepante,

Panalo ang Pilipinas!!! Gold medalist si Erap...


ERAP'S ENGLISH - FILIPINO DICTIONARY ( mukhang mai - insecure si Webster! )

Aspect: pantusok / pandurog ng yelo

City: bago mag-ocho

Deduct: ang bibe

Defeat: ang paa

Deposit: ang gripo

Detail: ang buntot

Devastation: istasyon ng bus

Effort: kung saan nagla-landing ang erflane

Melt: ngamit mantali sa mewang mara indi maulog ang mantalon

Persuading: unang kasal

Depress: ang nagkasal sa persuading

Predicate: pakawalan mo ang pusa

Protestant: tindahan ng prutas

Statue: ikaw ba 'yan?


SI ERAP AT ANG BARTENDER...

Bartender: Sir, tama na po lasing na po kayo

ERAP: Hhhhiiiinnndddeeee ako lashing:

Bartender: Papano po eh talagang lasing na po kayo.

ERAP: Para patunayan kho shaaa yo, nakikita mo ba yung pusa na iyon na papasok dito sa bar?

Bartender: eH, opo SIR.

ERAP: Tignan mo, Isa lang ang mata...ganyan ako katalasss pag nakainom!!

Bartender: Sir, hindi po papasok yung Pusa, palabas po, puwet na po ng pusa yon hindi Mata.


ERAP AT FPJ...

Erap: Pareng Ronnie, akyat ka sa puno, pisilin mo bunga kung hinog na..

FPJ: Okay...

(Umakyat at pinisil ang bunga)

FPJ: Oo pare hinog na...

Erap: Sige baba ka na, sungkitin natin.


HINDI DECAF, NOH....

Erap went to Starbucks....

Erap: Isang kape nga!

Waiter: decaf po ba?

Erap: *Galit* aba syempre, alangan namang de plato!


BREAKFAST IN BED...

Erap and Loi having their breakfast in bed after sex.

Loi: Alam mo hanggang ngayon nag-iinit pa rin ang dib-dib ko sa iyo.

Erap: Paanong hindi iinit yan eh, nakasawsaw and dede mo sa kape.

ngek!!!


HISTORICAL KAPAG NAG - AAWAY...

Minsan, nagkakwentuhan ang magkaibigang Erap at FPJ...

Erap: Pare,may problema ako sa kumare mo. Masyadong historical tuwing nag-aaway kami.

FPJ: Baka hysterical ang gusto mong sabihin.

Erap: Hindi, historical talaga, pare. Kasi pag kami nag-aaway, lagi na lang niyang inuungkat 'yung nakaraan...


GLOW NANG GLOW...

ERAP: halika dito sa kuwarto ko…

LOI: Diyos ko!!!

ERAP: Sara mo yung pinto at patayin mo ang ilaw…

LOI: Diyos ko!!!

ERAP: Tabi ka sa akin.

LOI: Oh my God!!! Heto na... Sabi ko na nga ba!

ERAP: Tingnan mo itong relo ko. GLOW in the dark.

LOI: NGEEEEKKKKKKK!!!


ERAP'S HAIR COLOR...

Erap was just elected president & one of the news reporters goes up to talk to him.

The reporter ask, "Oh congratulations on your victory as a president, now that your president do you plan to dye your hair?

Erap replied, "No my hair is always alive"

hahahahah!!!


MAGIC MIRROR IN MALACANANG...

It is said that there is a magic mirror in Malacanang that slaps anybody who tells a lie.

Sen. Juan Flavier passed by the mirror and said "I think I'm tall," and the mirror slapped him.

Then came President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. "I think I'm the prettiest woman in the Philippines," and the mirror slapped her.

Then passed President Erap and said "I think . . .," and the mirror slapped him.


NA - HOSTAGE SI ERAP...

Erap and some soldiers were caught in war and held as hostages.

They were all going to die, but were given two options..

Either be injected with the H.I.V. virus, or be shot to death.

Every soldier chose to be shot, but Erap chose the H.I.V. virus.

Soldier: "Erap!, why don't you want to be shot like the rest of us?"

*Whispers*

Erap: "They don't know I'm wearing a condom!"

[Tom A. Saiyan]

Nosebleed..........by INDAY

=====================================

“Nurture others with positive truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn’t cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you mean. Do it everyday. This is one of the most obvious qualities of the most beloved people. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words.”
-sagot ni inday sa amo nya na di xa pinautang at minura-mura pa!

=====================================



Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng ingles. Ang sinumang magpapadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pam amahay na to! Klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban.

Amo: (Hinimatay!! !)
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Overnight inaral ng amo ni inday ang dictionary para may pantapat na siya kay inday.

Amo: so inday,tell me, how do u acCept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?


Inday: una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.


Amo: ....Pakshet ka tlga inday!

I am not a maid! Pursuant to Art. 141 of d Labor Code (PD442), persons hu render services n d employer's home 4 its maintenance & enjoyment w/c ncluds ministerng 2 d personal comfort & convenience of d members of d household, r called HOUSEHELPERS! <Langyang Inday, 2nd year pala sa Ateneo Law >
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Consul: Why do you wanna go to the US ?
Amo: To travel, to visit friends & fly the airplane.
Consul: DENIED. And you?
Inday: For life's never ending pursuit of material & social satisfaction that I tender to great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affordable sanctuary where dreams become reality & perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pe des tal of freedom.
Consul: *napa nosebleed* LIFETIME MULTIPLE ENTRY VISA GRANTED!
Amo: @#$%^*()! ka talaga Inday! *habang nagnonose bleed*
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Si Inday... Nagsusulat sa kanyang Mom.

Dear Mom,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed a moment ago.Junior has become a little monster to me.
Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe!
Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can such strenuous employ!
Your Daughter,
INDAY

....Kinabukasan, ang sumagot ay ang tatay ni Inday.


Dear Inday,
WALAGHHIYA KA! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa Ospital ang nanay mo! Dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

NAGMAMAHAL, TATAY.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

name: inocencia binayubay
nickname: inday
age: 18
parents: aling seling and mang andoy
siblings: iying (13), itoy (Cool, iking (5)
education: College - La Salle zobel 2nd yr. (Scholar)
High school - P. Gomez High school (Valedictorian, best in English)
Elementary - Sta. Monica Elementary School (Valedictorian, best in Dancing)
Work experience: 3 yrs household service manager (katulong)
amo: Mr. & Mrs. Montemayor"

------------ --------- ---

"TO WHOM IT MAY CONERN:
I would like to inform the general public that I am still ALIVE and KICKING. Contrary to the text messages that has been circulated lately. I have already seek legal advice regarding this rumor and my lawyers are already preparing legal actions for the perpetrator. There will be a bicameral investigation in aid of legislation regarding this matter.

Sincerely, Inday

------------ --------- ----


FLASH REPORT: Inday is alive she's not yet dead. SOCO found out that, the impostora of Inday was killed. Ederlyn (inday's kapitbahay) was the master mind.

SOCO: bakit mo pinatay si Inday?

Ederlyn: kasi inagaw niya sa akin si dodong!

Inday: LIAR! Not once in my life that i force myself to someone. I've got breeding you know.

Ederlyn: Dong, mahal kita,diba mahal mo din ako?

Dodong: I.....Never. ..said... .that.... I....Love You...


Donya: Alam mo Inday, bakit di ka na lang magcall center? Pa inggles inggles k naman.

Inday: I dont think that I want to have an easy money for I know that choosing such employment is already limiting myself from experiencing enthusiastic ways of expressing what I feel by means of what I do, thus imprisoning myself with an incapable mind which will result to doubt and uncontentment.

Donya: Nawalan ng malay.
____________ _______

Sa resto..

Waiter: Ano po order nila?

Amo: Yung fried chicken meal nyo na lang. Ikaw Inday?

Inday: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy sauce and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion, and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of crop root and a helping of rice.

Amo: Iho, adobo with rice daw.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....

Nung bata pa si Inday..

Nanay: Day, bat ba ang tigas ng ulo mo?

Inday: Inay, intransigence is just normal for us juveniles.

Nanay: Day anong nakain mo? Im perturbed by your words!

Inday: Nay, ala naman gantihan!

Nanay: Hehehehehehehehehe! !! ( Kala mo ha!!)


Inday pang-Weather Reporter


Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!


Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occured wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.


TO WHOM IT MAY CONERN:
I would like to inform the general public that I am still ALIVE and KICKING. Contrary to the text messages that has been circulated lately. I have already seek legal advice regarding this rumor and my lawyers are already preparing legal actions for the perpetrator. There will be a bicameral investigation in aid of legislation regarding this matter.

Sincerely, Inday


-------
what happened to Inday, has she been lacking sleep lately? Why the grammatical blunders here?

"contrary to the text messages that HAVE been CIRCULATING lately..."
"I have already SOUGHT legal advice..."
"...and my lawyers are already preparing legal actions AGAINST the perpetrator."


========================

P500 – sun plan subscription
P1800 – glutathione 30 capsules
P600 – Olay Total Effects
P1500 – Crocs flip flops
P2000 – for mama

- Binudget ni Inday ang sweldo niya..

========================

Amo: Inday, paki-abot nga ‘yung ketchup…

Inday: While it can hardly be considered a health food, ketchup has been found to be a beneficial source of lycopene, an antioxidant which fights some forms of cancer. This is particularly true of the organic brands of ketchup. In fact, organic brands were found to contain three times as much lycopene as non-organic brands. Ketchup, much like marinara sauce and other cooked tomato foods, yields higher levels of lycopene per serving because cooking makes lycopene in tomatoes more bio-available.

Amo: Gaga!

========================

Amo: Inday, bakit kulang ang sukli na ibinigay mo?

Inday: Hmmm… The person from the selling entity might have experienced memory deficiency due to the difficulty in concentrating and that lack of concentration lead to forgetfulness in giving the excess monetary equivalent due from the purchased item.

Amo: I think I’m gonna faint!

========================

Amo: Inday, nganu gipasagdan man nimo si Junior nga pirti man ning tsabaw?

Inday: Sir, according to Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory of growth and development, toddlers normally exhibit temper tantrums to express emotions such as anxiety. And the best intervention is to ignore the situation. However, one should provide safety to avoid danger during their tantrums.

Amo: pag churoi!

========================

It is in mistakes that we learn how to grow to be better individuals.
Ypu may judge me for what you see but it is not my mistakes that determines who i am but it is what i do to make it right.

- sabi ni inday nung nakabasag sya ng pinggan

========================

1. rendezvous
2. tete-a-tete
3. renaissance
4. buoyancy
5. queue
6. squeamish
7. impenetrable
8. dachshund
9. brochure
10. brassiere

- Inday habang tinuturuan ang 8-yr old na alaga matuto sa spelling

========================

The oil normalizing series specifically desgined for my oily skin not only works physically on the skin surface, but penetrates deep into the skin layers to normalize oil secretion for a healthy and long lasting oil free skin.

-paliwanag ni inday habagng nagpapahid ng chin-chan-su

—————————–

We need to give due respect and the presumption of regularity to the verdict laid down against the former President. but guilty or not guilt he will still be loved by people like me, people belonging to the masses.

-sagot ni inday sa interview ng CNN sa kanya sa kaso ni Erap.

————————–

========================

Jeepney Driver: Hoy bakit sais alng ang binayd mo?! Syete na pamasahe naguon!

Inday: I am currently enrooled in a 2-year vocational course in an academic institution. therefore, I am a student and, by this fact, I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because that is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix.

Driver: (nosebleed)



========================

Nang nakauwi si Inday matapos mamalengke, nagalit ang kanyang amo…

Amo: Inday, hindi mo ba natanggap text ko? Tinext kita sabi ko bumili ka na rin ng giniling. Selpon selpon ka pa di naman nakakareceive ng text.

Inday: It’s not that I can’t receive any messages, it’s just that I was at a place with a weak cellular signal. You see, even though longer wavelengths have the advantage of being able to diffract to a greater degree and are less reliant on line of sight to obtain a good signal, it can still attenuate significantly. And because the frequencies which cell phones use are too high to reflect off the ionosphere as shortwave radio waves do, cell phone waves cannot travel via the ionospohere.

Amo: Pa-ayono-ayonospir ka pang nalalaman. magsaing ka na nga bago dumugo na naman ilong ko.

[naks mukhang ECE graduate din ata si Inday]

========================

Guess what? Those not-so stunning guys keeps on staring at my newly manicured nails while the copy-cat freaks envy my stylishly cut mane. Unfortunately after a great day at the spa, I have to step on this muddy and stinking place just to purchase some veggies!

- Si Inday, nakikipagchikahan sa tindera sa palengke.

========================

========================

“i understand that sexual urge is most of the time uncontrollable since a lot of factors contribute for it to be triggered..this is also the reason why some men are found to be polygamous and engage themselves in sexual acts even with someone who’s a total stranger to them..”

–sabi ni Inday sa sarili nya pagkatapos syang gapangin ni kuya…

========================

How dare u t0 insinuate such intolerable act of abusing our nature from a mere scrap of humanity such as
you. If you further insist, i’ll be forced to use my mental and physical capabilities just to pulverize u!

Litanya ni inday nung may nagtapon ng balat ng kendi sa tapat ng bhay ng amo nya..

========================

Boy Abunda: Inday, isang tanong. Diretsahan tayo. Baket ba mukhang ang lawak ng iyong pinag-aralan sa iba’t ibang larangan ng sining at teknolohiya? Ano ang nagsilbing inspirasyon sayo para gawin ito?

Inday: Boy, don’t you know how to count? Nevermind… to paraphrase Hayek, exclusive concentration on a specialty has a peculiarly baneful effect: it will not merely prevent us from being attractive company or good citizens but may impair our competence in our proper field.

Boy: Ahhh… [sabay kamot sa ulo]Kris: Boy, pinapahiya mo naman ang show eh. Ganito dapat. Inday, what Boy meant was what made you decide to pursue the knowledge of different academic uhh … ahh subjects?

Inday: Kris my dear, it’s either you’re not satisfied with my previous answer or simply did not understand it. I’ll just assume the latter. You see, these are all simply my abiding interests and all these tributaries flow into the same river. The thought of one’s research going into ever decreasing, derivative and infertile circles, just depresses me. Getz?

Boy and Kris: [sabay nag-nosebleed at nagtawag ng commercial break]

========================

“If the two eventually fell in love, despite the disparity of their ages and academic levels, this only lends substance to the truism that the heart has reasons for its own which reason does not know.”

Iyan naman ang sagot ni INDAY sa ina ni DODONG na tutol sa kanilang pagmamahalan.

========================

Amo: Inday, ba’t sinisipon si Junior?

Inday: He came in direct contact from surfaces contaminated with rhinoviruses which entered the cells of the lining of his nasopharynx which in turn rapidly multiplied. Thus, giving him a viral infectious disease of the upper respiratory system called acute viral nasopharyngitis.

Amo: [nosebleed sabay nataranta] what??! tumawag ka ng ambulansya! bilis!

Inday: Hayy, you’re so ignorant. As if you have not been afflicted with the common cold in the course of your existence.

========================

She is now becoming one of the fastest rising Internet stars today amassing a number of followers all over the world mostly Filipinos . Already surpassing Ederlyn, Yuga, the Numa Numa boy, the Chinese Backstreet Boys and even Casey and her cam.

Inday is getting a lot of popularity today mostly from word of mouth, SMS and e-mails. Her witty comments regarding her life as a domestic helper has already brought laughter and uncontrollable nosebleeds to us.

RL: Inday, thank you for accepting this interview, how are you feeling right now?

Inday: You might expect me to be flabbergasted or nervous with all the attention I’m getting right now. Actually, I’m not. I know from that very first text message that this is going to be inevitable. Even now the media is already interested in my fame that they sent you to interview me thinking that you can comprehend each and every word that I say.

RL: [nagpunas ng ilong] Uhmm, ahh I see… so with all your uhh academic credentials, what made you decide just to be a domestic helper?

Inday: Well, what do you expect me to be? A lawyer? A politician? A newscaster? Oh come on, you’re all so predictable. Have you met a domestic helper that has a medical degree, is a world-class culinary artist, has a degree in Business Management, a certified public accountant and consistent Best in English for four years in high school?

RL: Uhhm, ahh I guess not.

Inday: Well there you go. That’s what sets me apart and makes me unique from all the rest and I guess it’s something that you just can’t fathom.

RL: [tuluyan nang nag-nosebleed]

Inday: I guess this is the end of this interview. I still have to prepare our evening victuals and update my blog. Tatah! Hi nga pala to my love, Dodong! I love you babes.

========================

Inday: Are you certain that you want to transfer me back to earth?

St. Peter: Oo! Langya ka! Mano-nose bleed lang yung mga kaluluwa dito! Dun ka na uli magkalat sa lupa!

========================

It does not matter if you are the wife, or you’re the mistress. What matters is you showed your love, you experienced the joys and pain in loving. Coz from there, you’ll learn… that loving is not always easy.
- movie review ni Inday sa “A Love Story”! Bongga!


Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. o nga pla inglesira ka! Would you please purchase many fishes for our this week meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "FISHES", although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traveresed the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch? (Pauses) Aaahhhh! by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this houshold's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "galewng-gownge". Am I correct?

Amo: Leche!

Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish?


Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession.

- Si Inday, tumatangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay sa oras ng siesta.



Pacquiao Vs Hatton

Isang linggo bago ng laban nila Pacquiao at Hatton ay kinausap si Inday ng amo nya.

Amo: Inday, lapit na ang laban ni Pacquiao at alam ko naman na close kayo.

Inday: Uh-huh. What are you getting at?

Amo: Eh diba may libreng pay-per-view ka dyan sa TV mo sa loob? Tanong ko lang sana kung pwede kaming manood dyan. Mas maganda kasi manood sa 50″ Plasma TV mo kesa dito sa 40″ LCD sa sala. Tutal tuwing laban naman ni Pacquiao ay nakikinood kami sa TV mo eh.

Inday: Ahh.. well if you won’t be making a mess afterwards I suppose I could allow you.

Amo: Talaga? Pupunta rin pala iba kong kaopisina para makinood ok lang? Lilinisin na lang namin kwarto mo pagtapos. (langya, amo maglilinis ng kwarto ng katulong)

Inday: Very well but I have a request as well…

Amo: Sure! Ano yun?

Inday: 3 days from now I’ll be flying to Las Vegas. Manny gave me a plane ticket and a VIP seat for his match. He got me a room at Mandalay as well. Anyway, I’m just informing you that I’ll be gone for 5 days.

Blag!! Dumugo ang ilong ng amo at hinimatay.


Pinuntahan ni Inday ang malditang alaga na si Angelina sa kanyang kwarto para sabihang maligo na.

Pagbukas ng pinto ay nakita nyang si Angelina abalang naglalaro sa PC.

Inday: Angelina, can you cease for a while? It’s time for you to take a bath.

Hindi sya pinakinggan ni Angelina na patuloy pa rin sa pag-cocomputer.

Inday: I baked some chocolate cookies for you but you can only have it after you take a bath.

Angelina: Whatever yaya! (ngunit napaisip din sya) Ok wait, I will finish this round muna.

Ilang saglit ay tumayo si Angelina at kumuha na ng twalya at damit.

Inday: What are you up to anyway? (sabay lapit sa computer)

Angelina: Don’t touch that! I’m playing online Blackjack. I won $6 na. I will be back ok?

Lumabas ng kwarto si Angelina para maligo.

Dahil hindi pa nakakalaro si Inday ng online casino, sinubukan nyang laruin ang game ni Angelina.

Pagkatapos maligo ni Angelina ay naabutan nya si Inday na gumagamit ng computer.

Angelina: Yaya!!! What are you doing??! (sigaw ni Angelina)

Lumapit sya sa computer at napansing meron na syang $829.

Angelina: Wow yaya! What did you do?

Tuloy pa rin sa paglalaro si Inday habang inexplain ang kanyang ginawa.

Inday: It’s quite simple really iha. I first employed a multilevel Hi-Lo scheme with a side count add-on based on the Zen Count system. But of course, I was utilizing an overall true count methodology to take into account the multiple decks being used. Then I took it up a peg to the Uston Advanced Point Count method and paid particular attention to strategically optimizing my bets using the three-color chip scenario to disguise my wager.

Nawindang si Angelina sa explanation ni Inday.

Angelina: Wow yaya. You’re such a winner!

Napa-smile na lang si Inday.

(mukhang nagkakasundo na ang dalawa)


Isang hapon


Kaibigang Katulong: Inday, may gusto akong ipabasa sayung pocketbook. Nakaka-inlove yung kwento at parang ako yung babae sa nobela.


Inday: Sorry, but I prefer to read English Books. I have a collection of Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, Sidney Sheldon, Danielle Steel, Paulo Coelho and now I'm reading Gabriel José García Márquez's Memories of My Melancholy Whores. It is a story of a relationship of love and sex between an aging journalist and a working-class child, who sells her virginity to help her family. The narrator takes full advantage of his authority as storyteller in a strikingly unequivocal text. Problematic and yet profoundly haunting story. Fiction of the very highest order


Kaibigang Katulong: (Nosebleed) Pinahihiram lang kita ng pocketbook, kung anu-anu ng mga pinagsasabi mo dyan. May mga melancholy whore ka pang nalalaman.

[Tom A. Saiyan]

Pick-up lines...


1.Why love a person who just makes you breakfast?
When you can love me and be your breakfast!

2.Pimple ka ba?!
Kasi kapag pinipilit kitang tanggalin,
nasasaktan ako...

3. Girl: Aanhin mo yung hagdan?
Boy: Aakyat sana ako sayo ng ligaw
Girl: Di na kelangan! Yumuko ka nlang.
Boy: Huh?! Bakit?
Girl: Pakipulot ung puso ko, nahulog na kasi sayo!

4. Hangga't andito ako sa mundo,
Huwag mong isipin na THE BEST na ang syota mo!

5. Pwede bang MCDO na lang itawag ko sayo?!
Maxado kasing obvious kapag sinabi kong...
"LOVE KO 'TO!!!"

6. Girl: Tikman mo tong cake. Masarap. Gawa kasi ng nanay ko.
Boy: Ikaw nalang titikman ko. Gawa ka rin naman ng nanay mo eh!

7. Hi... Hmmm... Sabi ng doctor malala na daw yung sakit ko sa puso...
Dalawa na lang daw options ko. Either ICU or
U C Me...

8. Boy: May gagawin ka ba bukas?
Girl: Wala naman. Bakit?
Boy: Tara, Pakasal tayo...

9. Boy: Miss, musician ka ba?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Pinapataas mo kasi nota ko eh...

10. Kapag feeling mo may kulang sa buhay mo...
Isipin mong mabuti kung ano...
baka...
AKO na yon...

11. If you're nice, you can call me "baby"
If you're sweet, you can call me "honey"
If you're hot, you can call me...
tonight!

12. Sabi ng teacher ko kelangan ko raw ulit magaral ng alphabet.
Kasi everytime I recite it...
I always miss "U"...

13. Sana naging camera na lang ako,
Para sa tuwing titingin ako sayo,
ngingitian mo ko...

14. Kung may nagtanong sayo na:
"kumain ka na ba?"
Ang pinaka nice na sagot dyan ay...
"di pa eh, gusto ko kasi matikman ka muna!"

15. Sana naging damit na lang ako...
Para kahit minsan..
Itry mo kung bagay ako sayo...

16. My wish is to take off ur clothes kahit 1 beses lang...
i just wanna know how angels hide their wings...

17. Anong oras na?
...Para masulat ko sa diary ko kung anong oras ako na in-love sayo..."


18. If you're given a chance to love somebody...
Why don't you try me?!?!

19. Boy: Miss, pwede ba tayong maglaro? kahit ano laro ok lang, wag lng taguan.
Girl: Bakit ayaw mo ng taguan?
Boy: Because a girl like you is impossible to find...

20. Boy: Excuse me, May I see the tag of your shirt?!
Girl: Why?
Boy: I just wanna see if you were "Made For Me"

21. Miss, naturukan ka ba ng anesthesia?
Bakit di mo maramdamang mahal kita?

22. Nurse, CPR mo nga ako, coz you're taking my breath away.

23. Paki-auscultate nga yung apical part ng thorax ko...
And hear how my heart beats for you...

24. Miss, let me take your temperature...
Coz I think you're hot!

25. I don't speak french...
But I know how to kiss that way...

26. ako'y pamasahe, ikaw naman ay gasolina...
Alam mo kung bakit?
Ikaw kasi ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagmamahal...

27. Super steady ka naman dyan...
Galawin kaya kita...

28. Boy: Buti na lang walang MMDA dito noh...
Girl : Bakit? Ano nangyari?
Boy: Nagkabanggaan puso natin eh...

29. Buti pa ang cholesterol...
may lugar dyan sa puso mo...

30. Pag ako yumaman, magtatayo ako ng grocery store at mura lng bilihin...
...Dahil sayo lng ako magmamahal...

31. Aabsent na ako sa lahat ng klase ko...
Makapasok lang ako sa PUSO mo...

32. Question lang...
Can you recommend a good bank where i can make a deposit?
Kasi...
Im planning to save all my love for you...

33. Boy: Idedelete na kita sa friendster ha...
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Ayoko kasi ng friends lng eh...

34. Boy: Sana pinto ka na lang?
Girl: Hay naku! Bakit nanaman?
Boy: Para pwede kitang pasukan at labasan...

35. Grabe na talaga mga banat ngayon noh?
Sa sobrang dami wala na akong maisip...
kundi IKAW...


******************

36. Boy: Miss, para kang sembreak...
Girl: Hay naku, Banat nnman... Aber bakit?
Boy: Amboring mo eh...!!!

37. Boy: Alam mo para kang bisyo...
Girl: Hihi... Dahil ba hindi mo ko maiwasan?

Boy: Hindi. Sinisira mo kasi buhay ko!!!

38. Girl: Alam mo para kang shades...
Boy: .. Bakit naman? Kasi bagay ako sayo?
Girl: Hindi! Kasi nagdidilim ang paningin ko pag nakikita kita!!!

39. Kapag may nagsabi sayo na di ka magaling manamit at magbihis...
Sumagot ka:
"Alam ko! Pero magaling ako maghubad!!!

40. Kunwary dictionary ako...
Sigurado kahit saang page mo tingnan...
Hindi mo ako mahahanap...
Wala naman kasi akong meaning sayo!

41. Ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya ay parang paborito kong pagkain...
UBOS NA!!!

42. Girl: May bagong unlimited ah?
Boy: Oh? Nu naman unli un?
Girl: Ikaw, unlimited ka sa puso ko!
Boy: Wow ha! talaga?
Girl: OO! BUKAS EXPIRED KNA!!!

43. Banat ng bitter na ex:
"So what kung may chemistry kayo?
Bukod sa may history tayo...
I know your anatomy..."

44. Miss, your legs are like mayonnaise. They are best when spread out!


45. BOY: MISS, MAGNET KA BA?
GIRL...HINDI ..BAKIT?
BOY: NA-A-ATTRACT KASI AKO SA YO EH...

46. Hangga't andito ako sa mundo,
Huwag mong isipin na THE BEST na ang syota mo!

47. BOY: Miss alam mo para kang bola ng basketball.
GIRL: Ha? Bakit?
BOY: Kasi ang daming umaagaw sayo,, matira ka lang..

48. Boy: miss baril ka ba?
Girl: bakit?
Boy: patira naman, isang putok lang.

49. Boy: Encyclopedia ka ba?
Girl: Vakit?
Boy: Kasi, ang kapal mo!

50. Boy: Miss, may boyfriend ka na ba?
Girl: Wala pa eh... Bakit?
Boy: Bleeeeh! Ako meron!

[Tom A. Saiyan]

Tumawag ang pulis sa telepono…
PULIS: Misis, nadisgrasya po ang mister ninyo. Pumunta kayo rito sa police station para ma-identify ang katawan.
MISIS: Busy ako, eh! Picture na lang, tapos, i-tag n'yo sa FB ko. Kung siya 'yan, magla-LIKE na lang ako!

***

Ang mga LALAKI, parang TM 'yan… ASTIG!
Ang mga KABIT, parang Smart… CONNECTING PEOPLE!
Ang mga nakikipagrelasyon sa MATANDANG MAYAMAN, parang Talk 'N Text… GUMAGAAN ANG LIFE!
Ang mga MALALANDI, parang Globe… GO LANG NANG GO!

***

Sa isang pampasaherong jeep…
PASAHERO: Ano ba 'yan?! Sino ba ang nagpasabog d'yan?!
DRIVER: Oo nga! Kung sino 'yung umutot, mahulog sana pagbaba!
Maya-maya, umalingasaw na naman ang mabantot na utot …
PASAHERO: Ano ba naman 'yan?! Sino ba 'yan?!
DRIVER: Oo nga! Sana, mahulog siya pagbaba!
LOLA: Mama naman! Lampas na ako sa bababaan ko! Huwag mo nang ipagdasal!

***

Sa jeep…
PASAHERO: Manong, magkano ang pamasahe sa jeep ngayon?
DRIVER: P8 na. Minimum tayo, eh.
PASAHERO: Ho?! Sabi ho sa TV, bumaba na raw ang pamasahe sa jeep!
DRIVER: Sige, sa TV ka sumakay!

***

Nakita ng loro ang matabang babae na kumakain ng karneng baboy…
LORO: Taba! Pengeng baboy!
BABAE: (nagalit) Grrhhh!!! Ayusin mo ang tawag mo!
LORO: Baboy! Pengeng taba!
***

BRENDA: Dahan-dahan… aaww!!!
RYAN: Relaxed ka lang… Itatapat ko na!
BRENDA: Ohhh… (napakagat-labi) Aayyyy! Punyeta! Bakit mo binigla?!
RYAN: (natawa) Paano lalabas ang mata ng pigsa mo kung hindi natin bibiglain?! O, tingnan mo 'tong bote, nasa loob na 'yung mata!

***

Isang gabi…
ANAK: Tatay, huwag po kayong magagalit. Huwag po kayong mabibigla. May ipagtatapat po ako… Buntis po ako.
TATAY: Matulog ka na nga d'yan.
ANAK: Hindi po ba ninyo ako susumbatan, pagagalitan, sasampalin o sasabunutan?
TATAY: Hoy, Arturo! Matulog ka na! Hindi ko na pinapakialaman ang pagkabading mo! Pinayagan na kitang sumali sa Miss Gay! Ngayon naman, may pabuntis-buntis ka pang nalalaman?!
ANAK: Praktis lang po, Tatay. Baka ma-discover.

***

Noong unang panahon, sa isang kaharian…
ESTEBAN: Fortunato! Naghahanap ng trabahador ang Mahal na Hari sa palasyo. Gusto mo ba?
FORTUNATO: Talaga?! Anong trabaho naman?!
ESTEBAN: Tagapaypay kay Prinsesa Halimuyak habang siya ay naliligo! Pareho kayong walang saplot habang pinapaypayan mo siya!
FORTUNATO: Talaga?! Napakarilag ni Prinsesa Halimuyak, ah?! Sige! Kailan pwedeng mag-umpisa?!
ESTEBAN: Kahit ngayon! Basta, isa lang ang bawal doon!
FORTUNATO: Ano 'yon?!
ESTEBAN: Bawal kang tigasan!
FORTUNATO: Ano ang parusa pag tinigasan ako?
ESTEBAN: Pupugutan ka ng ulo!

***

EDWARD: Kanina pa nakadapo sa 'yo 'yang lamok. Bakit hindi mo patayin?
JEROME: Hinihintay kong mabusog! Saka ko hahabulin para magka-appendicitis!
***

Ang Love, parang KAPE…
Kapag nasobrahan sa GRANULES, pumapait.
LESSON:
Don't give too much. Para sa huli, hindi ka bitter.

[Tom A. Saiyan]

[Tom A. Saiyan]

STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH !!!! Interesting !!

Hey this is really true and see it will work for you too

If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1....

If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2...

If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3...

If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4...

If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5...

If U were born on the 6th, 15th, 24th of any month then U r number 6...

If U were born on the 7th, 16th, 25th of any month then U r number 7...

If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8...

If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9...


Number 1

You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities, Famous person... always want to be and regarded as first on people position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under others, self confident people!

You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views
And you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.

If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be hated by some people too...

Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner & wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent & original...

Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!


Number 2

No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot, you have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances, kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.

Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).

If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge you can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any Artistic business people!

You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole family. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of Your family...You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!

Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!


Number 3

You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious, loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything.. You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always you have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order to achieve something.. You will not get anything without hardwork! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them. You do set so many examples to others.

Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone's attitude then here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.

Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won't be long.. you will always have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it's over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will
be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character and culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow.

You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!!

Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!


Number 4

You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends (almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and don't know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!!

Your good will is you are always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls.. You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example you have got a degree in some thing... but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs.

But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too..

You are radical, patient, persistent,a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order...

Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!


Number 5

You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything when your head thinks "lets do this". You will be famous if you open up a business, get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship, but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships! Contacts even you are married at times 'coz your popularity..

You are someone who get along with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom lovers you are! You are an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it's your best teacher!!!

Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!


Number 6

Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.

You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are a caring person towards your family & friends .

If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...

Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5 !!!


Number 7

You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic, very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education, music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.

You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls, you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.

Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime.

It's probably the Lord given you all sort of over the standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue, ok?

You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to contribute lots to this world!!!

Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!


Number 8

You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say "this is what".
You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good you might lose either of your parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.

The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of friends and most of the time live life lonely and always prepared to help others.

Well. once you get married (which is often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected problems such as :
the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents.

You are some one with great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter!

Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!


Number 9

Hey...you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally... You are often have big-aims. You will work hard and hard to get there. Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have fighting life.. But when you achieve what you have done, it's always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off.

You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type.

Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you.

Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.

Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate.

You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice.

You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration.

Your Best match 3, 5, 6, 9. Good match 2